Howling
by evieeden
Summary: Bella wonders if she's made the right decision. Surely happiness shouldn't hurt this much. Advent story written for 9th December.


**Happy 9****th**** December everyone. Today's stunning beta effort was brought to you by idealskeptic, who has actually been a star to me throughout this whole thing so masses of thanks go out to her. **

**Anyway, I hope you all like this, and unsurprisingly, you might have noticed that although I like writing these stories, I don't actually own Twilight.**

**Howling**

It was the howls that got to her.

She had held herself together through all the preparations for the wedding, she had gritted her teeth through the actual ceremony, but she didn't actually break down until Jake had arrived. Seeing him, dancing with him, had been like a slap in the face.

She had been so happy with Edward, or so she thought, and then Jake had disappeared and suddenly being with Edward hadn't seemed so important anymore. The most important thing had been finding Jake.

But she was already in too deep.

So she stood in front of her friends and family, clutching Edward's hands at the top of the aisle. Seeing his face light up at the sight of her in her bridal dress, she thought that maybe this was all worth it.

That feeling dissolved the minute that Jacob appeared out of the gloom of the forest, white shirt stretched over his chest, easy grin on his face.

"Jacob!"

She had been overjoyed.

Barely casting a backwards glance towards Edward, she had run into his warm arms, squealing in delight when he immediately hugged her tightly and spun her in a circle.

He was back. Her Jacob.

Edward had said something about dancing with Rosalie, but she wasn't paying attention. Instead she clung to her best friend, burying her face in his neck and inhaling his musky scent. He was just as she remembered – so warm and alive – only then he had gotten angry at her. He had found out about her and Edward's honeymoon plans.

As he screamed at her about their relationship being some kind of sick joke, she had felt something crack within her.

He was still ready to fight for her, still so willing just to keep her alive. She knew that what she and Edward would attempt was risky and a small part of her really did think that she wouldn't be coming back to Forks alive.

She had never experienced the sight of the blind terror in Jacob's eyes before though, a terror that appeared at the thought of her death.

"No! You can't do this! I won't let you!"

She had nearly sobbed at his desperate pleas as his pack emerged out of the forest surrounding the Cullens' house to drag him backwards. Then Edward had been there, grabbing her arm and snarling at Jake in a way that just made everything that much worse.

And then Sam had said it. "This is not our concern anymore."

She knew what that meant, she got the message. She had let Edward persuade her into marriage; who knew what else she had been persuaded into, she did find it difficult to think when he was about.

To have the wolfpack finally turn their backs on her and tell Jacob that she wasn't their business, wasn't one of them anymore, really hurt her.

Jacob was pulled away in one direction while Edward lifted her up and carried her back towards the house. They kept eye contact with each other for as long as possible until she was taken around the corner.

The loss of Jacob hit Bella in the pit of her stomach and she shrieked his name without realising, clawing against Edward's restraining arm. An anguished howl was her only reply.

Edward had finally released her and stared down at his new bride with concern. Bella had gazed up at him, her eyes blank. He had opened his mouth to say something when Alice then appeared and whisked her away to get changed out of her wedding dress.

The thirty minutes after that had been a whirlwind of friends and relatives cheering, ribbing and wishing her and Edward well. She had smiled somewhat convincingly, only nearly breaking down again when she caught her father brushing away tears. She wanted to cling to him, but again she was torn from those mortals she loved all too quickly.

Huddled against the passenger door in Edward's car as he sped along the roads, she watched the world flash by, the trees blurring together so she couldn't distinguish one from the other.

And then she heard them.

A chorus of howls, one starting up when the next finished. They echoed through the forest, each one a cry of pain and loss. She knew that Jacob was out there somewhere in the forest mourning her, although from the sounds of it, he wasn't the only one weeping.

The sound of the wolves' anguish cut through Bella's bones, stirring something deep within her.

"Jacob," she whispered.

Nothing happened. Edward carried on driving silently.

"Jacob," she said louder.

There was still no reaction. Even if he had only been human, Edward should have heard her that time. Instead he carried on looking straight ahead, changing gears smoothly without looking.

Another howl came, closer this time, almost parallel to where the car was driving. It was abruptly cut off, ending almost on a whimper.

"Stop the car."

Her voice was firm and she knew there was no way that Edward hadn't heard her this time.

He ignored her.

"Stop the car!" she demanded.

The vehicle sped up.

"Stop the car now!" she screamed. Frustration made her lunge across her seat, grabbing the handbrake and jerking it upwards, sending the car into a tailspin.

Edward finally reacted, cursing as he moved speedily to undo the damage her rash action had caused. The back of the vehicle was still spinning out of control, making her head reel and causing nausea to well up in the back of her throat.

Finally, blissfully, the car came to a halt at the side of the road, inches from a nearby tree trunk. Bella was out of the car as fast as she could move her legs.

She stumbled and fell against the road, grazing her hands and knees before she scrambled to her feet and plunged into the forest.

The high heels Alice had forced upon her were lost in the first minute. Her expensive dress was shredded by branches that crept out of the dark and whipped across her face.

"Jacob. Jake!"

She kept repeating his name as she struggled through the forest as if just by saying it, she could conjure him to her side.

Mud splattered up her legs and stones hidden under the dense foliage floor stabbed upwards at her bare soles. She barely noticed the sting as her skin split apart.

A cold hand gripped Bella around her arm and the shock of it made her scream. She spun around to find it was Edward who had stopped her.

"Bella, we need to go back to the car now."

She barely understood what he was saying. Her eyes frantically searched over his face. She wanted him to let her go and couldn't understand why his hand stayed wrapped around her bicep.

"I need to go," she told him feverishly. "I have to find Jake."

Edward shook his head. "Jacob's not out there, Bella. He left, remember? You need to come back to the car so we can get to the airport."

She shook her head and jerked against his grasp.

"Of course he's out there. Can't you hear him? He's out there and he's in pain and I have to go to him."

"No!" Edward growled. He shook Bella sharply and she cried out as his grip became unbearably tight, bruising her bone. "You don't need to do anything. You made your choice, Bella. Just today you stood in front of God and witnesses and swore to be mine and now you're running into the woods...for what?!"

Bella just shook her head.

"Come on." Edward began pulling Bella back in the direction of the road, an ugly snarl on his face. "We need to leave."

This time though, Bella grew angry at his manhandling of her.

"No," she announced firmly. "No!" she shouted, when he paid no attention.

She didn't know how, but she managed to wrench her arm free and took off again into the woods.

"Jake!" she called, thundering through the trees.

She knew he was out there, she could still hear the echoing of howls in the distance, although she couldn't tell whether they were coming closer or moving further away.

The darkness closed in around her. She was further away from the road now and any artificial light had now vanished leaving her alone in the night.

She didn't know where Edward was. He might have gone back to the car, but a shiver running down her spine made her think that he was following behind her, far too quietly for her human ears to hear.

"Jake!" she screamed out into the woods.

Blind panic and frustration began to take over her body and she heaved in a shuddering breath, tears beginning to sting her eyes. She was lost again, only this time no-one except Edward was looking for her, and she couldn't even guarantee that he was there.

"Jake!" She tried shouting his name one last time before dissolving into sobs.

Her cries didn't last for long though. Seconds after her last shout, an answering howl came through the trees towards her. The sound compelled her further into the forest towards the sound. She didn't care if she was lost, as long as she could find him.

She was running now, as fast as she could, falling every now and then as roots and detritus tripped her up, following the sound of the howls that had started up again. As if by magic, her rings loosened around her finger and dropped off, making her feel lighter and adding to her speed.

A flash of movement to her left had Bella skidding to a halt.

"Jacob?" she called again.

Fur brushed past her and she spun around to face the grey wolf that was circling her.

"Paul?"

He was joined seconds later, more and more wolves appearing out of the gloom like shadows, until she was completely surrounded by the pack. As if on cue, they all stopped pacing in circles around her and waited.

Two shadows had stilled in front of her, and now as she watched, they moved forward. Two wolves – one black, one russet – stepped up to her. The red one's head hung down, not looking at her, while the black one moved even closer and stared her in the eye.

She didn't duck her head or slide her eyes away from the wolf's penetrating gaze. She made herself hold her head up.

The forest around them grew quiet, with the rustling of the wind through the trees the only noise heard.

The black wolf was now looming over Bella, still staring fixedly at her. She couldn't hold it's gaze any longer though and she glanced down at the floor. A second later, she felt a cold, wet nose snuffle across her cheek and bury itself into her hair, coming to rest against her neck. Instinct made her tilt her head to one side, submitting to him.

The black wolf made a rough snarfling noise and then moved backwards, barking twice.

The other wolves scattered, disappearing back into the gloom as quickly and silently as they had emerged, leaving only the black and red wolves with Bella. The black wolf turned to leave as well, bumping shoulders with his remaining pack mate before running off into the forest.

The red wolf finally looked up at Bella and she caught her breath.

Jake's eyes shone and she tripped forward to throw her arms around his neck. She hugged him tightly and he nudged her with his head. His body seemed to melt away beneath her arms until he was back on two feet again, his own arms wrapping tightly around her waist.

"Jacob." It was all she could think of, all that she could say.

He was here. She was hugging him and he was hugging her back. They were together again, and the rift in her seemed to magically heal itself in his presence.

"Bella," he breathed. "Don't leave me again."

Edward didn't even enter her thoughts.

"Never," she vowed. "I promise."

He pressed a hard kiss against her mouth and then leaned back to let out a victory howl.

The scattered pack answered him, and the forest trembled with the sound of the wolves' joy.


End file.
